The Shakespeare Caper
by BelStar
Summary: This fanfic tells what happened on the night of the performance of Romeo and Juliet which Marcia, Peter and Jan appear in on Series 3 of the Brady Bunch. You may remember that Marcia was silly enough to lose the part of Juliet as a result of her disdainful and big-headed attitude, but this story deals mostly with Peter and Jan's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, sure I learned my lesson, Daddy," said Marcia, "but I'm not going to be Marcia Brady sat in the corner eating her humble pie

"That certainly doesn't sound like your style, honey," replied Mike on the other end of the line. "So there was a delay at the printers, huh?"

"That's right, so both our names are in the program. And as far as everyone is concerned, Tina's playing Juliet because I offered to play Lady Capulet because the original Lady Capulet got the mumps, and that's the end of it".

"And Peter and Jan are still guards, and your mother's still Chairman of the Play Committee, so, in the immortal words of William Shakespeare, all's well that ends well," Mike observed.

"I'm not sure if that dime's going to hold out much longer, Marcia," complained Jan.

"And don't forget, it's my dime," added Peter.

"Well I'd better let the three of you go now, I guess it's quite a squash in that phone booth" Mike said. "Good luck for tonight, kids," he hollered in parting.

"Thanks, Daddy".

"We love you!"

"See you there!"

Marcia, Peter and Jan hurried out of the phone booth. "Nurse, where's my daughter? Call her forth to me," muttered Marcia to herself.

"Hark," shouted Peter, as he started to run along the sidewalk to the school.

"Who goes there?" yelled Jan, chasing after him. Once the two middle Bradys were sure they had left their sister trailing, they slowed down.

"She's kind of like a snake," Jan said thoughtfully, then reconsidered her choice of words. "I don't mean that she's a horrible person, because she's not, but..."

"...she's crafty?" said Peter. "Well, if I'd blown my chance of playing the lead role by being too big-headed, I sure wouldn't like everyone to know about it".

"No, I was thinking of the 'Don't Tread on Me' snake, you know, the rattlesnake on the flag," replied Jan. "It's not just that she wouldn't want people to know she'd been silly, she wouldn't want them feeling sorry for her, either".

"I guess".

"Anyway, the newest gossip isn't about Marcia, it's about Harold and Tina," Jan informed Peter. "Some of the other kids were saying they like each other".

"He's certainly less of a klutz around her than he was around Marsh". Suddenly feeling inspired, Peter turned to his sister, his eyes glowing with mischief. "So they could be a real life Romeo and Juliet! Jan, we gotta keep an eye on them both."


	2. Chapter 2

"The valiant Paris seeks you for his love".

As the rest of the cast was preparing for the first act, Marcia was keeping to herself as much as possible, repeating Lady Capulet's lines over and over. Jan and Peter, on the other hand, were looking for ways to bring Harold Axelrod and Tina McNorton together.

"Hey, Harold," hissed Peter, "do you wanna sneak out to the store with me, Jan and Tina? We've all got our costumes on!"

"I can't wait to see the store owner's face!" giggled Jan.

"Aw, come on, Harold," said Tina in her most encouraging voice. She was wearing her crinkly red hair loose so that it fell to her shoulders.

"I'd come along too, if I didn't have to get my stupid make-up done," complained Peter's friend Anthony.

"Uhh, I don't feel like it," moaned Harold, fiddling with his glasses.

"Jan and Peter, don't be so childish," Marcia snapped. "Thank goodness I'm going to be in high school next year.

"Well, la-di-da!" retorted Jan.

"She'd better not be starting up again," said Peter. "I'm going to get a Hershey bar for Anthony," he whispered to Jan and Tina as they made their way over to the fire door, keeping their eyes open for watchful grown-ups as they went. Out on the fire escape, they noticed two women on the ground at the bottom, smoking and chatting with their backs to them. "Shoot!" said Tina under her breath. "It's my mother!"

Mrs. McNorton and another of the mothers, Mrs. Shaw, were both enjoying a cigarette before heading into the auditorium. The children tried to sneak back inside but they had allowed the door to close behind them, and they were locked out.

Jan put a finger on her lips. "See if someone will let us back in," she whispered. Tina was listening to the conversation between the two mothers, which also drew Peter and Jan in. The three children crept further down the fire escape to listen.

"Well, it seems that Marcia Brady girl was very silly," Mrs. McNorton said. "She was giving herself such airs over being Juliet, that in the end they had to give Tina the role instead".

"From what I hear, it was her family's fault," replied Mrs. Shaw. "they encouraged her to think too highly of herself, and of course, pride comes before a fall".

"There's also the fact that the Bradys are a blended family," observed Mrs. McNorton. "I'm sure it can't be easy for Mrs. Brady with six kids, but I expect she spoils the girls as a way of compensating for losing their first dad," she stopped to take another puff, "and also for their not having as much individual attention as they'd been used to".

"I should imagine Mr. Brady does the same with the boys as well," said Mrs. Shaw as the two women began to walk away.

"Is that what people say about us behind our backs?" whispered Jan.

"Nothing but slander," agreed Peter.

"I never said anything to Mom about Marcia," said Tina hurriedly, "and I don't think any of you are spoilt".

"It's okay..." began Peter, but then he noticed the door was open and Marcia was signalling to them to come back inside.

"I told you to stop being so childish," she hissed as she held the door open for them before going back to her seat. Peter wondered if she had heard any of the conversation. "I utterly hate my mother," said Tina, sounding as if she were about to choke.

"Oh, don't cry, Tina, you'll spoil your make-up," said Jan. "Are you two really on my side?" asked Tina warily.

"Sure, I never judge a girl by her mother!" Peter blurted out.

"Beginners on stage, please," called Miss Goodwin, the teacher who was directing.

"Listen," Jan said to Tina, "I'll get everyone together during the interval and I'll tell one of my ghost stories".

"Make it a real scary one," said Anthony, who had just overheard Jan's promise .

"Can the two of you get Harold to sit next to me?" Tina asked, brightening up all of a sudden.

"I don't know," said Peter, "but we'll see what we can do".


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, so here's the plan," said Peter to Jan and Anthony. "When it's the interval, we'll cram everybody into the girls' dressing room, and we'll make sure that Harold and Tina are sitting together. And make sure you've got your torch". Jan was hoping they could engineer the situation so as to take the heat off Marcia.

When the cast of _Romeo and Juliet_ entered the dressing room at the beginning of the interval, they all agreed it looked very spooky. There were no lights except the light from Anthony's torch. Jan was sat on one of the tables in front of the mirrors.

"I can't see so well in the dark," complained Harold. "Well, come and sit over here," replied Jan. Harold sat cross-legged at the front. Tina took the opportunity to move in next to him, as the other boys and girls gathered around. Even Marcia couldn't resist the prospect of one of Jan's ghost stories. Anthony made sure the door was shut.

Ten minutes later and Jan was on a roll with her newest story. Anthony had his torch trained on her. She was wearing the black mask that Harold had worn in the ballroom scene.

"But then she realised what had happened. The witch's curse had fallen on her. She did her best to take off the mask - but she couldn't!" said Jan, pretending to fumble with Harold's mask. "It was like nothing she had ever felt before. She could scarcely believe it. Slowly but surely, the Mask of Elrondo was GROWING INTO HER FACE!"

Marcia let out a gasp as she lifted her hands up to her own lovely face. Tina was thinking how lucky she was to have her trembling hand in Harold's warm strong one. From under the table, Peter smiled to himself as he spotted the two of them hand in hand..

"Suddenly, all around her, there was a group of hazy forms," continued Jan. "Every one of the hazy forms was wearing a black mask, and every last one of them floated around the room. As they were borne on the musty air, they moaned, 'Mary Blackford. You have fallen prey to the thousand year curse. NOW YOU WILL BECOME LIKE USSSSS'". Harold put his arm around Tina.

"Ohhhhhhhh," howled Anthony, doing his best to sound like a ghost.

"Ahhhhhhhh," groaned Peter, also trying to sound ghostly. SNAP went the light switch.

"You have two minutes to take your places for the second half," said Miss Goodwin, standing in the doorway as the children sat blinking in the newly lit room. "Hop to it!" added the hippopotamus-like Mrs. Denton, who had just appeared behind Miss Goodwin. "Peter, Jan, were you being silly?" asked Carol Brady, peering into the dressing room as the beginners filed out.

"Oh, nothing bad's been happening," said Arabella, the girl who was playing Lady Montague. "We've just been coming closer together as a cast". Marcia giggled. Peter noticed that Harold was keeping his arm around Tina as the two of them left.


	4. Chapter 4

"For never was a story of more woe. Than this of Juliet and her Romeo".

As the curtain fell, the entire audience, including Mike, Greg, Bobby, Cindy and Alice, burst into applause.

"So how does that compare with the all-girl version of Julius Caesar?" said Greg to Alice over the din of clapping.

"I guess they were both interesting in their own way," she replied. "Oh look, there are Peter and Jan," she said, as a group of the more minor characters bowed and curtsied to the audience.

"Harold sure made an improvement," commented Bobby. Greg nodded. "I could actually believe he was in love with Juliet. Hey, that's Marcia," he added, as some of the more important characters took their curtain call.

"And that's Romeo and Juliet," cried Cindy, as Tina and Harold curtsied and bowed first to each other and then to the audience. "It's not the greatest love story of all time, though," said Greg.

"Oh, so what is, then?" asked Mike in surprise.

"Mike and Carol Brady," said Greg and Cindy together, as the entire cast curtsied and bowed together.

"I never see anybody else's parents acting so lovey-dovey," stated Bobby as the curtain came down.

"Oh look," said Alice as the curtain suddenly jerked up again. The two guards were excitedly using their spears as quarterstaffs. Lady Montague and Lady Capulet were jumping up and down in each other's arms, shrieking, "We did it!". Romeo and Juliet themselves were engaged in a long and lingering kiss. "Anthony Scotchwood, bring that curtain down now!" yelled Mrs. Denton from backstage, and the curtain fell on the undignified scenario.

"I thought that was just what the play needed," smiled Greg mischievously, as the nine members of the Brady household made their way over to the station wagon around 40 minutes later. "Anthony's the coolest," agreed Peter. "Well, thank goodness you're too old to be in junior high now," said Carol, pretending to whack Greg with her purse.

Jan quickly pulled Peter aside. "I'm still worried," she told him.

"How come?"

"Well, sure people will be talking about Tina and Harold but will that really stop them from talking about all of us too?"

Peter frowned. "Maybe we should see what Dad says," he decided.

Mike was walking with his arm around Marcia when Peter and Jan caught up with him. "We overheard Mrs. McNorton and Mrs. Shaw talking about us," Jan told them, and she and Peter recounted the brief conversation they and Tina had caught. "Oh, it's all my fault," cried Marcia, burying her face in Mike's jacket. The words 'Don't Tread on Me' flashed across Jan's mind. "I wouldn't be so sure about that," said Mike. "Look at me, all of you." Marcia took a step back and gazed up at him.

"First thing you have to understand is that eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves," Mike told the three children. "But secondly, the nature of gossip involves putting two and two together to make five, and that's exactly what you heard Mrs. McNorton and Mrs. Shaw doing. Now some people don't know any better than to go on hearsay but others will take the time to get to know you, and they're the ones who are most worthy of your time and effort".

"I think you're right," said Marcia, brightening up again.

"I think some people don't matter so much," said Jan, putting her arm around Mike. "Hey, do you think we could have pancakes with maple syrup tomorrow morning?"

"Well, only if you all behave yourselves on the way home tonight, and only if you go straight to bed once we get there".

"It's a deal," said Peter.

"I should hope so," replied Mike with a wink. "Otherwise I'M going to think we're raising a bunch of spoiled Brady brats. And if I do, then that really won't be pretty".


End file.
